She had said wherever you go you will take them with you - the feelings and memories that have accumulated over the years that you don’t address won’t just stay in the place you once named home.
But walking through the woods, listening to the streams flow and breathing in clean air will help. You will cycle through the woods alone, completely alone, and once again you will start to feel brave. As you push against the pedals you are living and present, going somewhere that you chose, making the decision to go forwards. You will be surrounded by nature which is subtly interacting with you, showing you the magic that is constant, always with you. You will let yourself mourn the holes that were made in your heart and little by little you will become free once more.
But please don’t think going away will make you new because new never learnt.
- leaving Berlin. The ferry from Calais at the crack of dawn.