It was his birthday and I was there alongside him holding his coat as I met his closest friends, I was a spectator and a visitor. When it came time to leave his friends wished me well on my travels and said they looked forward to seeing me again when I returned. After the meal we went back to his room which he was renting temporarily off a friend and he told me to tell anyone that I bumped into that I was his girlfriend, a word we had not discussed. He sat down at his computer and began editing imagery for his band. I stood by him and he held my waist, kissing my waist, telling me that I was a distraction. I lied down on the bed and watched him. I felt such innate joy and content tiredness experiencing such a talented, nurturing, hurting and deeply loved human being creating. In the fluid calm moment I wanted to walk out and leave him there knowing that this was the peak emotion I could feel for him, I had no heart to offer him and our futures were not to be together. He would be better off without me, I could not ask him to fix my broken heart, he was meant for more.
At the bus station before my flight we kissed and our embrace turned into an accidental waltz.